Fear

Fear - the word itself almost creates fear!  Dictionary.com describes fear as "a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined..."  Some synonyms for fear are: foreboding, apprehension, dismay, dread, terror, fright, panic, and horror. Max Lucado, in his book, Fearless, says, "Fear at its center, is a perceived loss of control."  

Fear definitely played a role in my grieving process.  As you know I was really struggling with accepting that George was really gone.  Why was it so difficult?  Fear.  Plain and simple, I think it was fear.   

In my heart of hearts, I knew that George had died.  True, I hadn't seen his body, but I knew his dear friends who were with him when he died would never make up such a horrific story.  At some point I came to realize that seeing the photos from the accident scene would not help me.  In fact, seeing them would probably have set me way back in any progress I was making.  

I was in denial.  Yes, I was.  And I knew I couldn't stay there.  It was time to move forward by admitting it and saying it out loud.  He wasn't going to come back.  

I knew George was in Heaven.  So what did I fear?   My fear really wasn't about protecting him anymore - my fear was about protecting me.   I didn't want to admit that he was dead.  I didn't want to face a future without him in it.  There were times when I would be crying and I would say, "Lord, I just want him back long enough to tell him goodbye."  But as soon as the words were out of my mouth, I knew I would never want him to leave his new Heavenly home.  

And guess what?  Over time - not overnight, but over time, it really started soaking in, like a slow steady rain, that I had been right all along!  George was not dead! He was more alive than he had ever been here on earth! And though I was facing the future without his physical presence, he was still very much with me!  The people we have loved so deeply always remain in our heart and in our memories, in sights and sounds and even in the people around us.  

Max goes on to share in his book, that the Gospels list about 125 Christ-issued imperatives.  Of these, 21 urge us to not be afraid.  So it's apparent that, Jesus takes our fears seriously.  

I pray that you will feel His touch and His words, "Arise, and do not be afraid." (Matthew 17:7).  Remember that He is our Light!  Keep looking and moving forward my friends!  Please don't let fear keep you in a dark place. Remember, there is

Sunshine After the Storm
Blessings!
Betsy

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