Amazing Grace!

This past Saturday, I had the opportunity to sit down and have coffee and conversation with a friend I hadn't seen in 38 years.  It was really good to see him after all these years.  Isn't it good when you can sit down with someone after all that time and still enjoy their company? We were quite comfortable sharing about our lives and what has been going on in them.  

As I listened to him share, I was reminded again about how loss affects everyone.  No one is exempt.  And loss isn't always about the death of a loved one.  It can be the loss of a relationship that was once so meaningful, it can be the loss of a job or career, divorce, or even the loss of our health.  

It seems as if loss almost always causes us to question ourselves, others and even God's wisdom, justice and love.  I've said numerous times in my posts that I'm no expert, but I do believe this is a normal part of the grieving process.  And I don't think it is necessarily a bad thing.  

I think it can be a good thing to question ourselves.  In so doing we may find areas of our own life that we need to change or improve.  We may need to ask forgiveness or even forgive someone whether they have asked for it or not.

What about questioning others?  Well, I think it is important that we evaluate the relationships in our lives.  Are the people in our lives building us up or tearing us down?  Are they healthy or unhealthy?  Are they exhausting us or lifting us up?  There is a difference between evaluating though and being overly critical of others in our lives.  We need to give them the grace that we would want them to give us.  But having said that, there may be people that we simply need to step away from in order to be able to move on to lead a healthy and happy life.

What about questioning God? I believe this too is a normal part of the grieving process.  If God is loving and just, then why does He allow His children to suffer?  We live in a fallen world.  God created man, but He also gave man the ability to make choices.  There are things that happen in this fallen world that we will never understand here.  That's where our faith comes in.  God understands our questions and he understands our pain.  He is not an unfeeling God.  He loves us with an everlasting love.  I think it is important when questioning God that we do so with an open heart and mind ready to hear his answers.  Our questioning and seeking can lead us to a closer relationship with our Father if we remember that He loves us as much today as he did yesterday and he will love us the same tomorrow as he does today. That is amazing grace!

Keep looking up and you WILL see the

Sunshine After the Storm
Blessings!
Betsy 

  

Winter Vs. Spring: The Battle

It seems it has been a long winter.  Winter months can be fun and cozy for the first couple of months, but after lots of bitter cold snow days, slips and falls on the ice, and kids having to stay in because it's too unbearably cold to go out and play in the snow, it starts to become draining on everyone's emotions.  Before we realize it, we can become depressed with the winter blues.

We eagerly await spring.  It seems this year, there has been a battle between between winter and spring.  Winter seems to be trying to bully its way into Spring and Spring keeps trying to poke through any openings it can find.  The daffodils and crocus are doing their best to brighten our world.  And the battle of Winter vs Spring leaves those of us who are weary a bit frustrated.  We need the sunshine and warmer weather - it makes us feel better!  The bouncing back and forth day to day from cold to warmer leaves us exhausted.

I think our journey of grief is much like this.  We become weary of the feelings that are associated with our grief: loneliness, depression, guilt, unanswered questions, loss of joy, and the list goes on.  And we can't seem to let it go. We are in the weary winter months of grief.  

Yes we are weary from our grieving and some days we want to hang on to it for dear life.  Why?  I'm no expert, other than in my own personal experience. Grief takes time.  Sometimes we resign ourselves that this is just the way life is going to be from now on.  Our joy is gone, our purpose for living seems to be gone, we may feel guilt that there could have been something more we could have and should have done with our loved one before the loss, or maybe we feel that if we move forward we are going to somehow be deserting or forgetting our loved one.  

Then somewhere along the way, we start to see those rays of sunshine trying to peek through our grief and the battle begins.  More forward into the sunshine (Spring) or stay enveloped in the darkness (Winter).   Does this battle ever end?

I think the good news is that in time it seems like less of a battle, less of a struggle.  How?  By learning over time to accept, not necessarily understand, what has happened, by realizing that we don't get do overs, therefore we cannot go back and change how we would have done things, by realizing that our loved one would not want us to be feeling guilt and hopelessness and most importantly by realizing that God has us on this earth for a reason and we cannot fulfill His purpose for our lives if we are stuck in the depths of despair.  

When those days of sunshine peek through, I believe we need to embrace them, not run from them.  Thank God for them, they are a gift from Him.  And as we begin to embrace those sunny days, we will begin to heal a little bit more with each one we allow ourselves to embrace.  

We will never forget our loved one, nor should we, and we will always have a piece of our heart missing, but we will begin to find meaning to our life again.
It is a journey, it is a process, but we must keep moving through the process to fully embrace the

Sunshine After the Storm
Blessings!
Betsy

Embrace Your Sunny Days!