Imaginary or Real

Is the ache of grief real or imaginary?  For me, it's quite real.  Tonight, it's very real.  I have an ache that cannot be put into words.  And it seems to come from a deep place in my chest. I wonder if perhaps it comes from emotions that have been repressed and put away for long periods of time, in order to allow me to function in my world.  My world that changed so drastically and unexpectedly almost five years ago.

The emptiness has never gone away.  How could it?  Part of me is missing. Some nights I see him in my dreams - and he is so close I can almost reach him, but then he disappears.  I so want to grab hold of his big strong hand and pull him to me.  But in my dreams he slips away before I can grasp him. 

These are the nights I cling to my faith, my faith in my Savior, Jesus Christ.  You see, my son had a personal and real relationship with Him.  And I know he is safe and secure with Him now.   And I too, have a personal relationship with Jesus.  And I know that one day I will no longer be reaching out for my boy because one sweet and amazing day I will be with him again.

These are the nights I hold close the incredible promises of God - that He holds me in the palm of His hand, that nothing or no one can pluck me from His hand, that He will never leave me. 

I am so thankful for a God who loves me unconditionally with all of my flaws.  He continues to sustain me and bless me.  Me, with all my sin... He loves me!

Tonight, I can rest in His promises..... I hope you will too...... and together we will see the

Sunshine After the Storm.....

Blessings......
Betsy