Dear Lord, Please Help Me...

"Dear Lord, please help me to honor You, and George, in everything I say I do during this time and help others to see Jesus in me."  That was the prayer I uttered as we drove down the gravel road to George's house.  George's wife greeted us outside and the first thing I did was apologize to her for screaming at her and accusing her of lying to me when she made the call to tell me George was dead.  We embraced, some tears were shed and then I entered the house.  I was immediately struck by the smell of wood smoke.  George had a wood burning stove that he had used to heat the house.  For some reason that smell was comforting to me and even though the house no longer smells like it today, I remember that smell very, very well.  

We walked through the house and I was shown the room that George had recently made into his bedroom to make room for us when we moved in with him. (It is from that very room that I sit now and write this blog.  I call it my  "happy" room.)  Right next to his bed on a table was a well worn picture of the two of us.  And I was overwhelmed with emotions and memories.  This just possibly could not be happening.

I really must hit the pause button here.  Let's talk about parenting.  It has to be the hardest job in the world.  But it is the most rewarding as well. As parents we do our best to raise our children to be loving, kind, good, and honorable.  For Christian parents we know the importance of teaching our children to love God and love others.  And George certainly got those things right.  He had an incredibly big heart.   But as it happens so often in life, there are times, especially when our children are out of the nest, that we see them heading down a path that could be painful for them.  We want to protect them.  We can share our opinion with them, but the choice is theirs.  Ah, and there is where trust must come in.  George and I were estranged for a period of about two years prior to his death.  I prayed for him during that time.  And the prayer I prayed was a hard prayer for a mom to pray.  "Lord, do whatever you need to do in George's life to bring him back to you... and help him realize the importance of putting You first in his life."  I knew "whatever" could have meant anything.  But it was a prayer I had to pray. And I also prayed for healing of our relationship.   And the most amazing thing happened.   I will share more about that later.   But in the meantime, wherever you may be on your journey, remember ... there is 

Sunshine After the Storm

Blessings,

Betsy

George at Kennett Highschool 1998

He Loved the Game 

P.S.  I welcome your comments....