Dig In and Fight

Well, we made it!  After four long days on the road we were finally "home."  Many different feelings rushed through me as we pulled into the drive.  This was the place George had loved so much.  I really hoped he would walk up out of the woods to greet us.  Some of you may think that sounds crazy.  Some of you know exactly how I feel.  When you have not been able to see your loved one's body, closure is extremely difficult.  If you didn't see it, then maybe, just maybe, it didn't happen.  

I walked into the house which was now empty except for a table that friends had set up with some sweet mementos of George.  And once again, that wonderful and comforting smell of wood smoke was there to say "hello," but the one person I longed to hear say "hello" was not there.  

There was no time to linger, and a whirlwind of unloading a massive amount of furniture and boxes began.  And it went on, and on, and on.  There were boxes everywhere.  There were days and days of trying to fit 2300 square feet of items into 1600 square feet.  Challenging to say the least.  

After a few weeks, things started to slow down some.  My husband was not working, so was home all day and helped a lot with the kids.  Now, was when the tough stuff started.  I slept late in the mornings, would take a naps in the afternoon.  And during the hours I was awake, I was consumed with questions and thoughts that had been put on the back burner while I had been so busy those two months preparing for the move.  I suddenly found myself forced to deal with the reality of my son's death. And I was going to dig in and fight it tooth and nail.  A mother just doesn't give up on her child.  And I wasn't ready to give up on or let go of George.

I'm reminded of how much our Heavenly Father loves us.  He does not give up on His children and He never let's go of His children.  I love Psalm 121:3-4, 8, "He will never let me stumble, slip or fall.  For he is always watching, never sleeping."  "He keeps his eye upon you as you come and go, and always guards you."  Even when we are going through the deepest trials, he is always  there! 

Keep your eyes open, because, there is

Sunshine After the Storm
Blessings
Betsy

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