I love my children, but honestly, they have a problem. They suffer from MRS aka Messy Room Syndrome. I have tried every approach, every trick in the book, to try to get them to keep their rooms at least half way clean. They may have inherited this from me since Itoo suffered from this childhood illness.
Each bedroom has a laundry basket to make things much easier, right? Wrong. For some reason, as close and as handy as the laundry basket is, they still just drop their dirty clothes where they take them off.
Each room has a place for everything which makes putting things away easier, right? Wrong. For some reason, it is so much easier to leave things where they were last used or to shove them under the bed only to have to literally dig them out later.
Two of the rooms have a desk for studying at, right? Wrong. They are used for the piling on of the strangest assortment of "prized possessions." If a chair was not underneath it, one would not know there was a desk there. It would just look like stuff suspended in mid air. Oh, and I won't even talk about the collection under the desk.
Now, here is what is interesting. When my children get a dose of medicine for their MRS, and they are able to effectively clean their rooms, they suddenly enjoy spending more time in them, they are more comfortable in them, and they can actually do homework or art projects at their desk! Imagine that! Of course that dose of medicine sadly wears off all too soon. I am going somewhere with this, I am not just venting (smiling).
As an adult, and one who has suffered a tremendous loss, I find that I suffer from MMS aka Messy Mind Syndrome. I imagine that everyone who has lost a loved one suffers from this as well. During the first two and half years after the death of my son, my MMS was very bad. It is much better now, but there are days when it flares up on me.
Before my son's death, for the most part, my mind was like a well organized filing cabinet. There was a folder for important information that I could pull out and use when I needed it, then file it away. There was a file folder for my usually awesome decision making ability that I could go to and take out whenever I needed it, use it, then file it back. There was a file folder where I kept my emotions, I could pull out the appropriate emotion I needed, use it, then file it back. There was a folder for focusing that I could access when I needed it, use it, then file it back. You get the idea.
After my sons death it was as if someone had gone into the well organized filing cabinet of my mind, opened every draw and decided to remove all my important folders and just throw them in the middle of my mind and then to make things worse, they stirred them with a big stick and then turned on a fan to make sure everything really got swirled around in there. Just talking about it has made me feel anxious.
If you suffer from MMS there is good news. There are a few "medications" that can go along way in helping you. One is acceptance. Accept that you have it and that it is perfectly normal considering what you have been through. Another is time. MMS does improve over time. Another is patience. Be patient with yourself, you have suffered a terrible loss, allow yourself to grieve as long as you need to. Another is prayer. I really believe with all my heart in the power of prayer. Allow others to be prayer warriors for you during this difficult time. And last, but not least is faith. For me, my faith in God and in His love for me is what has sustained me and will continue to sustain me.
Just like my kids enjoy their uncluttered and clean room, you and I will once again enjoy the peace of an uncluttered mind. Just like my my kids' rooms get cluttered up again, your mind will too, it happens. But when we know what "medication(s)" we need, we will manage our MMS much better.
Hang in there my friend and don't stop looking for the
Sunshine After the Storm
Blessings!
Betsy
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