Phantom Pain

I've been missing my son, George, more than usual the past few days.  I'm not quite sure why.  Maybe it's because it's high school football season and he should be out there coaching.  Maybe it's because I could just really use one of his gigantic, warm, hugs.  Maybe I just need to hear his infectious laughter. Maybe it's simply because he literally is a part of me.  

I carried him in my womb, he is literally my flesh and blood.  It is as if a very real part of my heart was cut away, and is gone, and a gaping, aching hole is left. Truly a part of me is missing.  

It reminds me somewhat of what amputees go through when they lose a limb. Even though the limb is gone, many amputees experience what is referred to as phantom pain, sometimes months, years, or even decades after the limb has been removed.  

I really don't expect that a parent ever gets over the loss of a child.  But I know now that I can expect to have days like today from time to time.  And I allow myself to have them, experience them, feel them.  It's okay.  

And sometimes I have these days because I have friends who have lost a child and I know so well the pain they feel, or they are struggling with the prospect of losing a child they love so dearly.  I have such empathy for them, yet there is nothing apart from prayer that I can say or do to make it all better for them. Oh, how I wish I could!  

There will be good days and there will be bad days on this journey of grief. Hang in there my traveling companion.....  I can say, there is 

Sunshine After the Storm
Blessings!
Betsy