Why? And Why Now??

On that flight from California to Missouri, to say goodbye to my son, a million thoughts were racing through my mind.  I think one of the questions we all ask when we lose a loved one is "why?"  And I was asking "why now?"

Just a couple of months before my son's death, my husband and I had made the decision to move back to Missouri.  We were going to be staying with my son until we decided if we wanted to build or buy a place.  My son was SO excited that we were coming "home."  And I had already started packing.  We were going to be back home and all be a family again.  My oldest daughter and her children would only be a two hour drive from us.  Our 6 adopted children would have my grandchildren to play with.  We would be able to share holidays together for the first time in years!  Life was good!  Why in the world would God take my boy now??

And my son, George, was living his dream job.  After graduation from high school he had joined the Navy and served during Operation Enduring Freedom (immediately following the 9/11 attacks).  After his time in the Navy he went to college and got his degree in teaching.  He was teaching American history and coaching football in the town where we had lived for a few years when he was a young boy.  

I contemplated all this, among many other things, during that flight, and I couldn't come up with any answers - there just weren't any answers that made sense!  

BUT, there was one thing I did believe and that was that God knew all the answers and He was in control and that was going to have to be enough.  This was something I had to remind myself of over and over and over again for months to come.  

If I were a betting person, I would bet that you have experienced a loss that has made you ask "why?"  Our mind tells us one thing and our heart tells us something else.  And even if we knew "why" we would still have a broken heart.  Perhaps down the road looking back over our journey we may begin to understand the "why" and perhaps we never will.  However, I truly believe that good things can come from the bad things we experience.  I've seen it so many times, not just in my own life but in the lives of others.  Wherever you are in your journey, hang on, don't give up, because there IS

Sunshine After the Storm
Betsy