Tuesday, May 28, 2013

That Dreaded Call

It's a parent's worst fear - the dreaded call.  I received that call on April 14, 2010. I had already spoken to my son that day and we had exchanged texts just an hour or so before that call came in.  I was living in California at the time, he was living in Missouri.  His wife, whom he was separated from at the time, made the call.  I remember screaming at her and accusing her of lying to me.  I was in absolute shock and disbelief.  He and one of his closest friends had been riding their motorcycles that afternoon.    A driver in an SUV had been cutting off other motorists on the road, and driving very dangerously.  From what I understand, my son was trying to get around the driver when the driver tried to cut him off.  My son lost control, and was thrown into a steel cable barrier.  He was killed on impact.  I will spare the other details. 

When I received that dreaded call, I demanded from my daughter-in-law the number of my son's friend who was with him.  I wanted proof that he was dead - perhaps he was just injured.  I made that call but his friend was overwrought and in shock as well.  At that point I called my only sister and asked her to make a call to the highway patrol to verify what had happened.  She called back with news that confirmed that my son was indeed dead. But even that wasn't enough - I wanted to name and number of the person she talked to - I needed to hear it from them first hand.  And I did.   Thus began my journey to hell and back.  

Notice I said journey to hell and back.  Yes, back.  It has been a long process and I will share more.  I welcome your comments and insights on your journey.  In the meantime....

There IS Sunshine After the Storm. 
Betsy
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4 comments:

  1. vivianJune 1, 2013 at 9:49 AM

    Even just reading this, made a lump in my throat.. Looking forward to reading more of your blogs and your own journey from being at the bottom and still finding enough strength through Faith to heal and crawl back.... Your soul learned one of lifes toughest lessons, and no telling who you will have an impact on by letting your story out, and your journey...

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  2. UnknownJune 1, 2013 at 6:56 PM

    Thanks for your comments Vivian. It is truly my desire to encourage those who are anywhere on their own journey of grieving a loss. I'm so happy you are taking this journey with me! Blessings!

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  3. DarleneSeptember 1, 2013 at 3:22 PM

    I lost my husband, the love of my life on July 26th this year. We had gone out to dinner and shopping and came home. We had our grandson. A friend of ours texted my husband's phone and asked if he could borrow some money and he would pay us back the next day at my husband's birthday party. I texted him because my husband was in the bathroom and said we don't keep cash but I would come get him and take him to get what he needed. My husband asked me to get vanilla creamer so I left our grandson with my husband and went to the store. I was gone 15 minutes and our friend came back to the house with us and my husband was laying face down on the living room floor and he was gone. I have asked God so many questions and been so mad at God. I still am and I also have listened to people laughing, talking, etc. and thought that it wasn't fair. I like your blogs because I understand now that it is my right to have these feelings and that some day, I hope soon, I will come out of it because I hate feeling this way.

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    Replies
    1. UnknownSeptember 1, 2013 at 11:34 PM

      Darlene, I am so very sorry for your very recent loss of your husband. You do have a right to feel the overwhelming emotions you are experiencing. There will be many emotions on your journey through the grief process. Be patient with yourself and try not to set a time limit on when you should be finished grieving - and don't let anyone else set it for you either! Sending you prayers for comfort on your journey. Betsy

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